Verboticism: Klutztomer

'Hey, do you work here?'

DEFINITION: v. To ask someone who is clearly in a store uniform, perhaps on a ladder creating a display or running a cash register "Do you work here?" n. A person who doesn't know how to ask for assistance in a retail store without asking a stupid question.

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Parleyfool

Created by: readerwriter

Pronunciation: parh-lee-foolh

Sentence: This is a true story. It must be documented! During the 70s, while a hippie, wandering around Quebec, nervous about having to speak what little French I had absorbed in high school, I stuck my head into the door of a pub somewhere near Sherbrooke and spoke to a row of men sitting in semi-darkness at the bar, "Parlez-vous Francais?" They turned in unison, like a row of cows, and mooed, "Ooouui." Needless to say, I let the door slam shut and was too mortified to correct myself. What a parleyfool I was...

Etymology: Combining PARLEY, a discussion (from Fr. parler, to speak) + FOOL. Could be spelled ParlerFou!

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COMMENTS:

Cute story. :) - kateinkorea, 2009-03-27: 23:55:00

Enjoyed your sentence. Your create is a great blending plus a great fun pun on parle vous, too! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-28: 15:41:00

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Klutztomer

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: kluhtz tom errrrrr

Sentence: If another klutztomer asked him if he was the manager despite his large laminated photo I.D, has $500 dollar suit, his genuine crocodile shoes and his hide briefcase, he would cut out their liver and bring it home to mother for dinner.

Etymology: customer, klutz

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COMMENTS:

LOL Mine is a MORON and yours is a KLUTZ! Everybody is being hilarious on this word :) - abrakadeborah, 2009-03-27: 05:17:00

muchly enjoyed the humor in your sentence and your word - funtastic! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-28: 15:35:00

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Interrograte

Created by: kateinkorea

Pronunciation: in TER ro GRATE

Sentence: As Emma would pose her redundant and asinine questions to wait-staff, store-clerks, and other service industry employees, it became clear she was posing in more ways than one. She would interrograte these poor unsuspecting workers with her snobvious questions to show her tiny bit of power over them. Then she would quickly send them off to answer to her whims. One day we sat at a restaurant table where there was a buzzer to bring the waiters. She had them come about ten times. “Is this water in this jug? Are these organic lemons? Is the coffee fresh? Freshly ground? What is that song playing on the radio right now? Does your boss also own the franchise across town?” She just wouldn’t stop.

Etymology: INTERROGATE: GRATE: to get on someones nerve; irritate

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COMMENTS:

like it kate - galwaywegian, 2009-03-27: 10:45:00

It's a grate word! - Nosila, 2009-03-27: 13:10:00

Great blending! Clever! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-28: 15:30:00

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Cusdumber

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: kus dum mer

Sentence: If you have ever worked in retail or other service jobs, you know who they are. Sure, not the nice 95% of Customers who actually pay your wage, happily, but the 5% who are the Cusdumber...the ones that usually don't end up spending, just making your life harder. They cannot read signs (like "Final Sale, No refunds"; "One per Customer" or "Do not Open Packages"). They ask foolish questions, "This is the only one in my size, will it still be here next week?" or "Do these emeralds come in any other colour but green?" or "It's 9:00 pm, does that bell ringing mean you are closing? But I just got here!" Sometimes they are rude and say hurtful things like,"Don't you know how to operate a till?" or "When I ask for a sparkly rainbow thingy with bright lights on it, you should know what I mean...did you flunk your training class?" After one of these frustrating encounters, I console myself with the fact that I am not that person and try to not be a cusdumber myself when it is my turn to be a consumer!

Etymology: Customer (someone who pays for goods or services)& Cuss (swear at)& Dumber (slow to learn or understand; lacking intellectual acuity)

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COMMENTS:

Awesome job! - kateinkorea, 2009-03-27: 04:16:00

"Do these emeralds come in any other colour but green?" LOL!!!! - abrakadeborah, 2009-03-27: 05:19:00

great word!! - mweinmann, 2009-03-27: 14:45:00

Did she wish the cusdumber went right on buyher? Super marketing word! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-28: 15:07:00

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Inquisidolt

metrohumanx

Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: in-QUIS-i-dolt

Sentence: Just got this one in "under the wire"...(electrified cattle fence)...I don't really know if this is "appropriate", but i TRUST all you crazy Verbotomists not to judge me too harshly... PAMBO wore his best "hoodie" while out shopping, and when he spotted the slinky young lady sporting a semi-commercial looking outer garb reminiscent of his favorite Progressive Insurance Representative (Stephanie Courtney), PAMBO cast all caution to the wind and asked her if she could get him a discount. PAMBO was rejected like a transplanted baboon heart, but it didn't cramp his style, because he was a dyed-in-the-wool INQUISIDOLT!

Etymology: One who makes obviously redundant inquiries....INQUISITION: a severe questioning;Middle English inquisicioun, from Anglo-French inquisition, from Latin inquisition-, inquisitio, from inquirere .....DOLT: a stupid person; probably akin to Old English dol foolish 1553....

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx Where can i get a fish license? - metrohumanx, 2009-03-28: 00:19:00

Excellent....Pambo was master of the duhblivious... - Mustang, 2009-03-28: 03:29:00

Maybe you can get a fish license at the office of the justice of the deeps. - silveryaspen, 2009-03-28: 15:17:00

Great job of using James' cartoon for the basis for your sentence. Pambo is lucky he's not facing a sentence for his inquisidolt! You put a fresh spin on an old thing and got a big grin! As the old man in the old tv show Laugh In used to say "very interrrresting!" - silveryaspen, 2009-03-28: 15:29:00

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Staffinvection

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: staff in vek shun

Sentence: When George the patient asked the man in the hospital with the white scrubs; the stethoscope, mask and chart whether he worked there as he took George's vitals, he got himself a case of staffinvection.

Etymology: Staff (employee) & Invection (. An expression which inveighs or rails against a person) & Wordplay on Staph Infection (A spherical gram-positive parasitic bacterium of the genus Staphylococcus, usually occurring in grapelike clusters and causing boils, septicemia, and other infections).

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Assking

Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: ass king

Sentence: On his shoulder, the huge brassy button said in big letters: assistant manager. Therefore, everyone was asstounded and asstonished to hear Stu Pid, assking, "Do you work here?"

Etymology: ASS, KING, ASKING. Asking redumbdant (redundant) questions makes one an assking. ASS - offensive term that deliberately insults somebody's intelligence. KING - the greatest and most powerful leader of a people who are united by a common tie, in this case, by their level of intelligence. ASKING - to question.

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COMMENTS:

Very funny! And very good! - kateinkorea, 2009-03-27: 04:18:00

Well there's an Ass----,Klutz---- and a Moron---- for today...we're all in the same mood :) Good one there! - abrakadeborah, 2009-03-27: 05:36:00

terrific - Jabberwocky, 2009-03-27: 12:24:00

I know Stu....worked with him....tried to avoid him...couldnt. - Mustang, 2009-03-28: 03:32:00

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Querylyevident

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: kweer/lee/ev/i/dent

Sentence: Even though Sam stood at the crosswalk in his bright orange vest with the yellow reflective stripe which said Crossing Guard, holding a giant stop sign, pedestrians would still pose the querlyevident question "Are you the Crossing Guard"? Sometimes it made him feel like running amok in traffic.

Etymology: query + evident + 'clearly evident'

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COMMENTS:

LOL! made him feel like running amok in traffic. GOOD ONE! - abrakadeborah, 2009-03-27: 22:49:00

Funny! - kateinkorea, 2009-03-28: 00:00:00

play on the oft said 'fairly evident', too. Excellent word! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-28: 15:00:00

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Retaildundunce

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: re tayl dun duns

Sentence: Chad was what we call a retaildundunce. He'd come into the store, approach a clerk who was obviously wearing a uniform, complete with name tag and ask them if they worked here? He did this in every department he went into and yet he never bought anything or asked about our merchandise. It turned out that Chad was a "Mystery Shopper" who was hired by an agency to check on our customer service levels. How did we find out what he did? When our security department apprehended him, under his jacket he wore a uniform complete with name tag that said, "Chad, Mystery Shopper!" DUH!

Etymology: Retail (the selling of goods to consumers; usually in small quantities and not for resale) & Redundant (repetition of same sense in different words; use of more words than required to express an idea) & Dunce (these words are used to express a low opinion of someone's intelligence)

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Stupormarketing

Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: stoo + por + mark + keting

Sentence: As a retail clerk, Jonah could vouch for all of the stupormarketing that is occurring in his town. It is difficult for him to reign in the sarcasm when asked if he works in the store while he mops up a spill or stocks the shelves from a pile of boxes.

Etymology: Stupor (the lack of critical cognitive function) Supermarket( A large self-service retail market that sells food and household goods) marketing (shopping at a market)

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COMMENTS:

heh - galwaywegian, 2009-03-27: 10:45:00

stupendous! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-28: 15:42:00

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