Verboticism: Technillogicrat
DEFINITION: n. A computer programmer who corrects software problems by bugging the users, rather than debugging the software. v. To pinpoint the blame for any defects in a product, especially a software product which you have created, on "illogical" end-users.
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Progrimist
Created by: arrrteest
Pronunciation: pro-grim-ist
Sentence: Victor the Progrimist was scheduled to do his rounds on the floor at 10:00 a.m. on Tuesdays. The employees all held a meeting to discuss what problems they had beforehand so they would be prepared for his sarcastic and abusive ways and attitude. They even took a poll to see who's problem would probably attract the most ire and ridicule from him. Every once in a while they would concoct a fake IT problem just to see him react if there was not many issues to discuss.
Etymology: Program + grim +ist
Mistech
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: mis tek
Sentence: Lech, our mistech, mistook a mistake that Missy would make. He would make her shake and quake, about her mistake, even when his take of her mistake was a flake. He could wreck the heck on her neck, if he we didn't keep our mistech in check.
Etymology: Mistake (error) & Tech (a technician who is highly proficient and enthusiastic about some technical field (especially computing)
Dissinformation
Created by: artr
Pronunciation: disinfərmāshən
Sentence: Lawrence is quite sure of his programming skills. When something doesn’t work the way he expects, he is preemptively sure that it is caused by user error. He has been known to spread dissinformation, belittling anyone who would dare question his skills.
Etymology: diss (act or speak in a disrespectful way toward)+ misinformation (false or inaccurate information, esp. that which is deliberately intended to deceive)
Pogrommer
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: poe grom mer
Sentence: Gerd the Nerd, King of the Keys, WiFi Art Thou was on his usual grumpy morning rounds. It was always demeaning for a man of his superior intellect and obvious supreme being status to have to help the peons in data entry sort their miniscule problems. And so he conducted his morning pogrommer act, successfully designed to terrify and cower. But when he deigned to enter the murky waters of the call centre, he was blinded by the beauty of the end-user. She had long gold plaits and looked so helpless and vulnerable, so he went gently on her. He found himself thinking of her all day and dreamed that night that his Big Fat Geek Wedding would soon be a reality.
Etymology: Pogrom (organized persecution of an ethnic group, in this case, blonde end-users) & Programmer (a person who designs and writes and tests computer programs)
Developastard
Created by: scissorlips
Pronunciation: duh-vel-op-AHS-turd
Sentence: "It's crashing when I hit the spacebar!", screamed Ms. Yewser. "That's probably because you've damaged my software by mashing the return button one too many times!" was Arman Gheddon's reply. Being a developastard of considerably little patience, Arman then simply left her office.
Etymology: developer: as in, software developer + bastard: insulting term of address for people who are stupid or irritating or ridiculous.
Criticompados
Created by: TJayzz
Pronunciation: Krit-ee-komp-a-doss
Sentence: The criticompados was insistent that the blame lay with me, but I was sure I was not in the wrong, and he knew it!! He tried the same trick on my colleague only last week.
Etymology: Criti(Critisize,blame) comp(computer) dos(Disk operating system)
Itsk
Created by: mrskellyscl
Pronunciation: I-tisk
Sentence: When Susan's screen went black she dreaded having to call the crabby ITsk guy but she was stymied. The all-knowing geek strolled into the office with his short sleeved shirt, coffee cup and smarmy attitude, looked at the wall where someone had accdentally kicked out the plug. He stood there with the plug in his hand, tsking, then made a huge show of plugging it in. "Please check the plug before you call next time," he snarled, and wafted out of the office.
Etymology: IT: pronounced I - T is the acronym for Informational Technologist + Tsk: sucking sound used to express disappointment or sympathy.
Techsuppose
Created by: mrskellyscl
Pronunciation: tek-sup-pose
Sentence: Jean hated to call Techsuppose. Not only would it take half the day to reach someone, but the smarmy voice on the other end of the phone assumed that she was an imbecile and asked the same stupid questions, "Is it plugged in?" "Did you restart it?" Eventually, she discovered that someone neglected to use the "Mother-May-I" command during set-up and now she'd have to spend the rest of the afternoon downloading various patches, drivers, upgrades and fixes. Another day sacrificed to the tyrannical techgods.
Etymology: (play on techsupport) Suppose: to believe, especially on uncertain or tentative grounds; to consider as probable or likely
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COMMENTS:
So true! - splendiction, 2009-06-26: 22:53:00
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